Magic 5 Hours.

Often times when a couple gets married they stop showing each other little displays of affection, like they would have while dating, courting, or during engagement. It is important for couple to continue to show small affection and one on one time together throughout their entire marriage. In John Gottman’s book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he describes the ‘magic 5 hours’ that each couple should be spending together each week in order to maintain kindness, togetherness, and love, in their relationship after marriage. The areas he touches on are Partings, Reunions, Admiration, Affection, and Weekly Dates. Partings are the moments when one spouse or the other leaves the home in the morning, either for work or school or some other activity, he believes that the couple, rather than a rushed kiss while running out the door, should spend 2 minutes saying their goodbyes and giving their goodbye kiss before the one leaves, 5 days a week. With reunions he believes that when this spouse then returns home in the evening that the couples should spend 20 minutes discussing how their days went and again hugging, kissing, and saying hello. Admiration is just that, tell your spouse at least 5 minutes every day what different things you love and admire about them, and all the reasons why you are grateful for them. Also, everyday spend 5 minutes with your spouse sharing affection, hugs, kisses, telling them you love them, they look beautiful, etc. And last, make sure you set aside 2 hours every week to go on a date, just the two of you. So at the end of the week your time together, sharing small acts of love and affection, will total 5 hours as shown below:

Partings: 2 minutes x 5 days = 10 minutes
Reunions: 20 minutes x 5 days = 100 minutes
Admiration: 5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes
Affection: 5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes
Weekly Date: 2 hours x 1 day = 120 minutes
----------------------------------------------------------------
Week Total = 300 minutes or 5 hours!

As you continue spending time together, talking with one another, and sharing love, admiration and affection for one another you will have a stronger marriage and will find more comfort and joy in that marriage. So don’t forget to share the magic 5 hours with your spouse!